ROCD

I just ended my 2 year relationship with an amazing guy because my intrusive thoughts wouldn’t stop. I started Prozac 9 days ago and the first few days, I felt great and all the original love I had for my partner came flushing back. The next few days I started becoming anxious and today I had to leave work because I could not stop ruminating. When I initially broke up with him I felt a split second of relief, but now I am having the same feelings that I was having before and I don’t know what to do.

Username: TexasOCD41TexasOCD41

Date posted: 16d ago

Oh im so sorry you are going thru this. I wish someone could have been there to tell guide you. Perhapse this is salvageable. When i went thru ROCD my therapist told me DO NOT BREAK UP, its basically a huge compulsions. short term relief, but the issue returns. Also, 9 days is like a milisecond in medication. It takes typically a month at the low end to start seeing results. I would see if you can communicate to your ex that you don't really want to break up, you are just working thru some personal things and you thought breaking up would be better for all parties involved but now you see you made a mistake and see if he will bear with you during the adjustment phase. It is also EXTREMELY common for anxiety to get worse before it gets better when starting medication.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 16d ago

@TexasOCD41 My mind keeps trying to tell me now that I don’t like him and maybe it’s for the best. I am so confused

Username: FloralEnvoyFloralEnvoy

Date posted: 16d ago

The guy you were with wasn't the issue, your relationship with your anxiety is. OCD is a dysregulated fight/flight system, it stems from within us and lashes out at things very important to us as a means of self-protection. It can be very destructive. You seem unsure if it was the right decision, you can't seek certainty with OCD. That's usually a sign that you're compulsively looking to reassure yourself in the face of an obsessive thought.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 16d ago

@FloralEnvoy Do you have any advice because I’ve gone all day feeling absolutely awful

Username: FloralEnvoyFloralEnvoy

Date posted: 16d ago

@Anonymous Anti-anxiety medication maybe? I think it'd be good to evaluate whether or not breaking up was a compulsion. If you feel it was compulsive, it may not be too late to reach out and repair the relationship if you so choose. The important part is to do so in a manner that allows you the most ability to follow how you feel when your anxiety isn't in control. If I'm being honest I'm on this app rn because I have felt awful all day about my relationship and I'm fighting thoughts of breaking up with her hard. From my perspective, I know if I broke up with her I'd feel like you do now. Still as awful, but without the woman who I fell in love with even if love feels unreachable to me. It's a long path of recovery that never really ends with OCD, do some cost/benefit analysis stuff (you can look up therapy tools like that on Google for free) on your relationship to help parse through intrusive thoughts and obsessions. Then make decisions based on your values no matter how bad your anxiety flares up. We have to essentially teach ourselves we have nothing to fear.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 16d ago

@FloralEnvoy Well that’s the tough part none of the intrusive thoughts have gone away they’re still there saying the same thing

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 16d ago

@Anonymous They’re still telling me to break up even though we already have and now it’s making me think that they were just intrusive thoughts

Username: FloralEnvoyFloralEnvoy

Date posted: 16d ago

@Anonymous They could have been. I'd reccomend wrestling with the cost/benefit practice a bit.

Username: yourocdbestieyourocdbestie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16d ago

So sorry you're going through this! It's my sister's biggest theme and we talk about it often. She's currently with her partner of 3 years but still has episodes where she becomes convinced she doesn't really like him. It's gotten considerably less frequent since finding the right combo of ERP and meds. If you're comfortable, be open with him about what's going on. Definitely talk to an ERP therapist rather than relying on talk therapy as ROCD is so misunderstood for people who don't fully get how OCD works. And also, as someone already said, 9 days is pretty much nothing in terms of starting meds. Took me months to adjust. Be patient with yourself!

Username: ashxfire19

Date posted: 2y ago

Is this ROCD?

Hi all, I just joined this app today after finding its recommendation on reddit so bear with me. The past three weeks of my life has been a living hell. Out of nowhere, I started obsessing about if I need to leave my partner. So let me just say, I love my partner so much, we’ve been together for 1.5 years. The thoughts about leaving him are eating me up and pulling me apart. For three weeks straight now from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep, all I can think about is how I feel like I have to break up with my boyfriend even though I don’t want to. Nothings changed in our relationship but these thoughts have sent me into a spiral. I’ll spend hours reading articles about staying together and breaking up, having multiple crying meltdowns a day about the thought of losing him and that I don’t love him anymore, and feel like I can’t make this anxiety go away unless we break up (AND I DONT WANT TO AT ALL.) This has given my physical symptoms of nausea, chest ache, stomach issues, and mental symptoms of a pit in my stomach, constant feeling of dread, obsessive thoughts that I can’t stop thinking, and the guilt is unimaginable. I love him and I can’t imagine being with someone else. I don’t know what to do anymore. Is this ROCD or am I a bad partner?

Relationship OCD

Username: JW7

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD - Broke up with GF

About a month and a half ago I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. I had relentless doubts/anxiety about whether or not it was the “right” relationship for me. I would always analyze my relationship with Google searches and ask family/friends their opinion of my relationship. The expression of all these doubts that I had, made it seem clear to others that I just hadn’t found “the one” or that it just wasn’t the “right relationship” yet. Over time I began to agree with these opinions. Assuming that if I was in the “right” relationship, I wouldn’t have these relentless doubts. I had repetitive thoughts that I needed to end the relationship or commit to marriage with her right now. These thoughts caused me a lot of anxiety and often times I was lost in my head instead of being in the present. It felt as if I was just swimming in constant anxiety/doubt month after month. I got to a point where I felt depressed and even irritable when it came to her/the relationship. One day I decided that it must just not be the “right relationship/person” if I’m having all of these doubts and that she deserved someone who could give her more reassurance about the future. I felt that I wasn’t being the boyfriend that I thought she deserved. So I broke up with her. I was relieved for a few weeks. I felt I had a clear mind now that I wasn’t thinking so much about it anymore. It seemed like I had made a good, but difficult, decision. Recently, that anxiety has come right back to me. And then I learned about ROCD. I’ve now been stuck in a constant loop of ruminating about whether ROCD is the reason I broke up with her. From what I’ve read and learned about, it seems that I need to become okay with being uncertain about the situation. I’m still new to this, so I’m looking forward to learning more from my therapy sessions. I don’t really know what I’m hoping to get out of posting this. It’s just difficult feeling like I can’t trust my own thoughts/feelings. The possibility that I broke up with her bc of ROCD makes me feel sick. But I don’t feel that I could attempt to get back with her unless I felt a little more certain about the relationship. I don’t want to be focused on finding clarity or certainty. However, I’m very new to all of this. I feel overwhelmed, defeated, confused, and paralyzed about everything.

Username: calicocookie

Date posted: 1y ago

distressed ROCD relapse

I've been dealing with an Relationship OCD relapse for a few weeks now and im currently distressed, overanalyzing my feelings towards my boyfriend, I feel the urge to break up with him at random times daily, for context I'm in a healthy happy relationship but this is causing me so much distress and anxiety. I fear I might loose control and break up with him.

Relationship OCD

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