Isolation

Feeling a little despondent because I had been doing better for a few weeks, making some progress and experiencing less anxiety, but I had a bad flare this past weekend after a stressful week and now I feel like I'm back where I was a month ago and that I'll never get any better than this. I think the worst part is that it feels so isolating. I can't really talk to my friends about it because they don't have OCD and don't understand, and I feel like I'm just burdening them with crazy nonsense and alienating them because they can't relate to anything I talk about anymore. I can't talk to my family because they're tired of having to live with me and fed up with me not making any substantial progress, and me talking about my OCD just makes them angry because it means I haven't been working hard enough to get better and I should be over it by now. It's worse now that I gave them the false hope that I was doing better, but every time I relapse I let them down and they're running out of patience to deal with me. I am an emotional and financial burden to my family and I contribute nothing in return. I can barely leave the house, I'm almost 38 years old and I've never had a real job or any interests outside of my obsessions. My family is pretty much the only thing I have going for me and if I don't get better NOW, my behavior will push them away too. I see people younger than me getting help for OCD and I feel like it's just too late, this disorder is all I'll ever be and I'll never be able to recover and have an identity outside of it. I am seeing a therapist but no matter how much they tell me I'm working hard or making progress, I just can't see it and I'm sure they'll give up on me soon.

Username: Lisa LeeLou Lisa LeeLou

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 1y ago

@zale Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Recovery from OCD is not a straight line. There are going to be bumps in the road and that is OK. Keep at it. In my experience, recovery is not a straight line. The goal is to minimize the down times so they are manageable; allowing us to get on with life. Keep reminding yourself that recovery is absolutely possible. Yes, it is challenging, especially in the beginning. Don’t give up. Therapy, time, and patience show us how to manage the symptoms and keep the frequency and intensity of the OCD episodes to a minimum. Be patient and kind With yourself. you are doing a great job.

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

I just want you to know that it is NEVER EVER too late. I also tell people that I work with, that you can never start back at the beginning- you can never be set all the way back. Recovery is not a straight line- it is messy, unpredictable, and at times still scary, but it is always moving forward. YOu are still moving forward. I am so sorry that you don't have more support, I can imagine how difficult that would be. Please know that there are communities of people who truly understand OCD (like this one). There are also support groups (visit the IOCDF website). You are not alone. You are fighting this and that is brave. You are so much more than any 1 diagnosis. I know it may seem like OCD is who you are, but know that you are someone outside of OCD. I wish you so many good things.💛

Username: heartstopper heartstopper

Date posted: 1y ago

Sending good vibes It’s my first time on here and don’t really have much advice except that it will get better and at least you can vent on here :)

Username: VGHVGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Hey there, I'm here to tell you I had OCD (untreated) until my mid 50s, I am now 63, and it wasn't until I had therapy with a NOCD therapist that I was able to recover. There is hope! Everyone's journey is different, and as long as you're with a therapist trained to deal with OCD, you will get better. It is a process, and it does take time and practice. I, too, had times where I gave into compulsions. You just keep pushing forward. You may find this helpful https://youtu.be/RPH27Z3IzNY If you aren't with a NOCD therapist, reach out to them. It is hard work, but it is so worth it! I never thought I would have a normal life, but it is possible. You are not alone, as you can see on this community there are many here like you. It is never too late. Take care!

Username: hillary

Date posted: 6y ago

I’m feeling super discouraged with my ERP progress :( I’m starting to fear that I have treatment-resistant OCD or something, or that it’s not even OCD :( I’ve got harm-OCD which it’s a tricky one to tackle bc it’s pure O. i’ve been working on ERP for about 4 years now but nothing seems to spike my anxiety enough at the time of the session. I feel safe doing the ERP, but when I get alone with my thoughts/idle mind, that’s the only time I get anxious. I’m super discouraged and anxious rn so any insight is so appreciated. xoxo

Username: Anonymous99

Date posted: 2y ago

OCD is relentless

Ive posted on this app a few times this week, and I don’t like being a negative person, I just feel like I need to vent to people who get it. I’ve had ocd since I was a child, and I’ve been doing ERP for like 6 months and I’m still STRUGGLING. The spirals are horrible and I just worry I don’t have the strength to recover like a lot of other people have. Has anyone else felt like this and gotten through it? One of my motivations is to come out the other side and being able to post my success story here to hopefully inspire others. Curious to hear your success stories if you’re comfortable sharing.

Username: Mya11

Date posted: 33w ago

Lonely

I feel so overwhelmingly lonely. I have been lonely my whole life, and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it. I feel like a burden to my family and my friends and I feel like they all secretly hate me. I’ve been through a lot of really traumatic things over the last 18 months (abusive relationship/ stuck living with an ex/ finishing my degree/ family problems/ eating problems and of course having OCD doesnt help) and I felt so alone. I still haven’t been able to talk to people about the extent of it because I don’t know how. I have tried counselling but I just felt like my counsellor was very dismissive. Ive tried talking to one of my friends and she told me it was worrying her/ not to do it again. It was all manageable before I came off my medication, but I just can’t go back on it again because it made me gain so much weight. I really don’t know what to do. I’ve tried reaching out to old friends, making new ones, dating, herbal remedies, therapy, gym, moving house. Nothing is working. I feel like the only option is going back on my medication but I really don’t want to do that. Does anyone have any advice?

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