OCD is relentless

Ive posted on this app a few times this week, and I don’t like being a negative person, I just feel like I need to vent to people who get it. I’ve had ocd since I was a child, and I’ve been doing ERP for like 6 months and I’m still STRUGGLING. The spirals are horrible and I just worry I don’t have the strength to recover like a lot of other people have. Has anyone else felt like this and gotten through it? One of my motivations is to come out the other side and being able to post my success story here to hopefully inspire others. Curious to hear your success stories if you’re comfortable sharing.

Username: Rainbow sky!! Rainbow sky!!

Date posted: 2y ago

I think everyone’s different don’t worry bout the time you’ve been trying to get better atleast your working on it just keep working timelines don’t matter maybe some medications mite help different medications.

Username: Anonymous99Anonymous99

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you! I just started a new med 5 weeks ago. I will probably have to up the dose but hopefully it starts to take the edge off!

Username: Dearabbey Dearabbey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m new to this app and to this whole OCD process. I always dealt with this and GAD but never on this scale. I’ve listened a lot to Ali Greymond on YouTube, she has a lot of awesome videos. I have had a couple months of basically every second of every day dealing with ocd urges and thoughts/panic attacks. It goes from one theme to the next. I usually feel SO confused and my biggest fear is the same, that I am not strong enough (lots of moments of suffering and confusion). But I had to treat those fears as ocd thoughts as well by saying “maybe I am maybe I’m not” and accepting that uncertainty as well then just forcing myself to keep moving my body. This morning was the first time I felt normal waking up where I didn’t have DP and ocd thoughts first thing in the morning! By now I am already back dealing with accepting and allowing and choosing to disregard. But we got this!! I always see people post and I think “yes great advice but you don’t know how I feel” or “ I’m glad you’re strong enough but I am different” I promise you, you are not different from anyone that has recovered! It takes different amounts of time for everyone! Be patient with yourself, even if that means just hoping to be patient since it’s hard to really feel patience or hope!! I hold on to the seconds (cause that’s all I’ve gotten recently lol) where I felt normal and a glimpse of hope. You can trust yourself which I know it so hard since you feel as though you have lost touch with yourself. But you haven’t, it’s temporary! Hope this helps you feel less alone in your struggles! Sorry it’s so long hahaha

Username: Anonymous99Anonymous99

Date posted: 2y ago

“You can trust yourself” that means so much to hear! I have completely forgotten how to do that. I feel like I have no confidence left after all the abuse OCD has put me through. I definitely am getting better than I was, it’s just been such a slow process for me. I guess re-learning 23 years of ritualizing doesn’t happen overnight. I really really appreciate you sharing this with me, I get DP so badly when doing exposures and it’s very encouraging to hear you woke up without that even if it was just for a little while! I want to trust the process, it definitely helps hearing other peoples experiences.

Username: Catperson10Catperson10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Just here to say you've got this. So what I've noticed is once I'm starting to feel a bit better in one area (contamination is my worst one) my depression starts to really kick in (separately I have MDD). And after a few good weeks my depression suddenly was deep. Like I got scared actually. The therapist said that since anxiety has been taking up so much of my brain space (its decades of this before I found this diagnosis) that the depression is coming out. So I might need to treat the depression separately but for now I'm doing the may or may not statements with my depressivec thoughts. So like it's not easy at all but it's helping. So also what I've noticed is my other themes come up and get triggered. I suspect I had harm OCD originally and now I have that and contamination. So the harm theme tries to take over when I'm dealing with the contamination. So I treat each thought with the ERP. Essentially the OCD is trying to take over and it feels intense and worse. But it starts to help a bit. Definitely ask the therapist. Maybe some of the ERP exercises are too intense or something? I'm not sure. But this process is intense for sure. If you have other mental health issues too you might need to treat those separately. I might need to treat my depression separately as well.

Username: Anonymous99Anonymous99

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for the response it’s greatly appreciated! Good luck with the rest of your journey, I think it’s really smart to treat the depression as well as the OCD. I have PTSD so I think working through that as well will actually help a lot. A lot of my intrusive thoughts are related to things I’ve been told abusively/experienced throughout my childhood. I will bring this up with my therapist. I hope that you’re doing well, thanks again for sharing your story with me :)

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Struggling with Relapse?

I’ve been doing really well the past few months. I’ve been consistent with ERP therapy and other exercises to help manage my OCD. However, something triggered my OCD to come back in full force last week and while I know that the journey to recovery isn’t linear, and I know that this is something I will always have to work on, it’s been very disheartening and it feels like all the progress I’ve made has been for nothing. It’s exhausting and I’m struggling with intrusive thoughts that I will never get better again. Anyone else relate?

Username: afterallthis...

Date posted: 27w ago

Encouragement

Hey guys - I am currently in the midst of what is possibly the most difficult OCD attack I have battled thus far. Not sure what everyone else’s experience looks like with the diagnosis but I have extended periods of feeling rather well (with minor rituals and thought processes showing up) followed by some major event or trigger popping up that sends me into spirals that can last for months on end. There are days where I feel that I am unable to function as a normal human being (getting out of bed, taking care of my hygiene, going to work, feeding myself, etc.) I guess my point in posting while on the midst of a valley is just to get some encouragement that it is in fact possible to recover and that the suffering won’t be forever.

Username: Anonymous321

Date posted: 20w ago

Recovery stories please!!

Please share your stories! I have really bad real event, false memory and POCD. I’m struggling a lot right now feeling undeserving, feeling like everything I’ve ever done in my life was meticulously calculated. Funny thing about OCD is even if I see someone do something way worse than me, it won’t phase me unless I’d done it. For example, something minor I did that really could mean nothing, my OCD convinces me it proves my ocd right. In light of the disordered times, I’d like to ask for someone to share their ocd recovery story, maybe some tips and how they did it. It’s feeling pretty impossible for me right now. Thank you!

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