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Hi everyone, I am still int he midst of an OCD Flare that started last week. I had 1 day when I felt a little better because I was with my s.o. and he kept me distracted all day Today I am alone at home like most of last week and having a hard time getting out of bed. My compulsions have been reassurance seeking online. Today the taboo OCD thoughts included false memory and I feel numb. No anxiety or fear which in turn is telling my brain that it means I am a horrible person who wanted all of these thoughts, likes them, etc. I have been crying on and off the past week so Im not sure if my body is just exhausted or if I finally accepted I am this terrible person capable of these horrible things. How do you get yourself to 1. Leave your bed 2. Manage the numbness.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w ago

One step at a time. First lift your head off the pillow. Then, sit up, then stand up etc… the more you lay there and cry the worse it will get trust me. I’ve been in the fetal position crying so hard I almost dry heaved. It will be extremely difficult to do but it’s the only way. The hat life tho, doing the hard things is where progress is made.

Username: needhealingneedhealing

Date posted: 44w ago

Do stuff for other people. I know you can’t pour from an empty cup, but sometimes the only way for me to do anything is knowing that I’m helping. I won’t do anything for myself—not even bathe or brush my teeth—for days at a time during a flare up, but I will do for others.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w ago

Thats*

Username: a.non2

Date posted: 1y ago

numbness

I got diagnosed with OCD a few months ago after getting plagued with intrusive thoughts last November. It’s been present in my life since I was younger but didn’t become truly debilitating until last November. I’ve been in therapy since May, and I started an SSRI. I’m a Christian, and I’ve struggled a lot with my faith since this started. I’ve had a hard time with ERP because I fear it’s not going to help and actually make things worse. I have also had a lot of emotional turmoil from family trauma and marriage issues. I’ve become so hopeless and numb and desensitized that I don’t know how to continue forward. I don’t feel like I’m able to talk to anyone about it because it’s taboo, so I feel like a fraud and like I don’t deserve to do things I enjoy or hang out with people I love. I do want to get better but I also have a fear that I don’t actually want to. I feel like my whole life is ruined and that I’ll never enjoy living again.

Username: Dustpan

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 43w ago

Anyone “prefer” past themes?

I used to have an asbestos contamination obsession. It was pretty unhealthy. I learned how to identify the material and would go through bottle upon bottles of hand sanitizer to “protect” myself from likely nothing. Now my POCD, ROCD. and false memory ocd is making me hardly want to live. I called in twice this week and haven’t gone to classes at all. I’ve been in therapy through here for about 2 month but I’m getting worse. I get evaluated for meds next Friday and I’m having such a hard time thinking how far that really is. I haven’t left bed today. At least I was more functional with the asbestos theme. It was very annoying, but it was nothing like this

Username: Hope309

Date posted: 39w ago

OCD/CPTSD

OCD making me feel like a terrible human being. Focusing entirely on my flaws I forget the good things about myself. Sometimes I question if I ever had any. My OCD does center around themes that question my morality. Lately I’ve scared myself into believing I’m a covert narcissist. That comes heavily from my ROCD and CPTSD symptoms lately. I look at my partner who is such an accomplished, educated man…and then I look at myself as a woman who has let the years pass by out of fear. It makes it worse he wants to help me. Get me back into school. Help with my finances. I feel like such a parasite at times. He deserves better. Idk I just needed to type this out and get it off my chest.

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