I just realized that I have this compulsion where i search ocd forums up and down, looking for someone describing the exact scenario/event that im obsessing over right now. Otherwise it’s like i cant convince myself that it really is ocd. Its so stupid because even if I find what I am looking for, I know it is only giving me temporary relief. I was just about to post a description of the theme/scenario here, but I am proud that I stopped myself ⭐️
I do it too. Im doing it right now. Looking for some sort of relief.. but tbh idk what my theme even is right now. Just a bucket of anxiety and depression and confusion and intrusive thoughts kind of? Idk I’m just a whole bunch of bad feelings and everything these days.
I do this too.
I'm proud, that you had been able to stop yourself from posting it. ☺️ Also, I have never heard of anyone having the same triggers, fears, or doing the same compulsions as I do, when it comes to my MTOCD, but the pattern is the same, to others who suffer from this theme. Neither our intrusions nor our compulsions have to match those of other OCD sufferers. I know OCD is a doubting desease and I experienced my share of doubting my diagnosis. But withstanding to make the post you felt urged to make shows how strong you are and that you have the ability to get a handle on OCD.
Yes, this is a compulsion I have too! I think we probably all believe that our own real events are worse than everyone else's. It can be very scary. Describing the theme has also been a trap I've fallen into. I've had to delete a few posts for this reason. You've done yourself a big favour by resisting that urge here
Same
realising that i do this too 😭
I do this as well
Lol I was the same with reddit, and trust me when I didn't see any occurrences of anything similar happening I would start worrying. I used to google all the time about what "distant" behaviour means in guys on and on, I frequented to Reddit, youtube, 7cups (if you have heard of it) to ask people what his behaviour meant and I needed instant answer. I would spend days thinking about him, his behaviour, frequent crying, asking my guy friends why he wasn't talking a lot to me and what his silence meant. I wonder now if I was ROCD. It went away when we actually stopped talking for good. I was at my worst. And redditting about it made it 10 times worse so I always resist the urge to post and wait for answer. It makes me anxious waiting around for something that I want to happen right away
Literally why I came here. I needed reassurance that I’m not a monster.
The biggest compulsion of mine is reassurance-seeking. Sometimes I have the urge to ask really strange questions to my friends/co-workers etc. I get really annoyed sometimes at how creative my mind can be to come up with questions that doesn’t sound strange, in order to get reassurances. Currently I’m dealing with false memory OCD x relationship OCD so I’ll feel the urge to ask questions to friends to make sure I’ve not cheated before, E.g. hey have we ever gotten physically intimate before? What were we doing in April when we met? Did we really didn’t do anything inappropriate? which by itself sounds very odd to people. So my mind will try to come up with really creative stories to make my question sound as natural as possible so that I can get my reassurance/answer. (Ha. Nice try OCD) However, I know this is OCD and I know that I absolutely do not want to ask these questions (OCD is bullying me into asking) And it is the strangeness of these questions that is a motivation for me to not perform these compulsions. Because I don’t want to ruin my friendships or cause people to think I’m strange. But I have to admit, it’s not exactly the easiest to stop performing these compulsions. Has anyone experienced something similar?
It feels dumb asking this as if I want it to be clarified to prove something, but I was on tiktok and saw something on tiktok (I don’t feel comfortable saying what) and I got a intrusive thought because of it. I wasn’t trying to let it bother me but I couldn’t just forget that that happened in my head. Why would something like that happen? Then I searched up “sexual obsessions POCD” on Google and the first site that showed up basically listed a lot of the stuff that’s been going on in my head. Then I started to feel better and relieved cause I was like “oh good it’s just ocd”. But it still makes me feel like it’s not…I hate this.
Anyone else get bad ocd after posting anything anywhere? It’s truly not because I care about what people think, it’s kind of more complicated. Like I think if I post it and feel a certain way while I post it or have certain thoughts, they are “stuck” inside the post and I’ll keep having them until I delete the post. If I give into this compulsion, I immediately feel better and like myself again. If not I’ll feel hot on my head, restless, have sweaty hands and feet, and feel nervous. I know this sounds very random and hard to believe. I think it is part of Pure O ocd, and a lot of my obsessions and compulsions are mental, and some are what I used to think of as “imaginary”, like visual things that are in my head. But also, when I resist doing this compulsion, things usually get better. It’s just harder to do on some days.
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