How to break up with a therapist?

My therapist isn’t specialized in OCD. I’m her first OCD client. She told me she’s taking courses in ERP and specifically sexual OCD since a lot of my themes are sexual in nature. I want help, I need help. It feels like every time I meet with her I get set back. I make progress a lot on my own. Sitting with discomfort, trying to accept the thoughts and uncertainty. But every single time I meet with her, it feels like I’m explaining OCD to her. She even went as far as to suggest that some of my thoughts that bring me distress are mine. I am not a cheater. They are not mine. Why on earth would they not be intrusive if I was in tears about having this thought? I feel bad. I really do because I can see that even though I can very much see her mistakes, I can also see that she’s trying to help me. I’m just so scared of getting worse. I’ve been in therapy for 5 weeks now. I feel like had it been with a specialist, I would be doing so much better. Instead it takes me days to come backs to whatever progress I’ve made alone after meeting with her. She’s a great person, she tells me she experiences intrusive thoughts too and she doesn’t have OCD which helps me feel less alone but I don’t think that’s enough for me. She’s always available for a call whenever I’m in extreme panic. I just don’t think this is working. I trust her and I tell her everything, but it feels like she’s just listening to me talk the whole time. We’re doing a workbook but she gives me absolutely 0 input. I just read my replies and she just sits there. I don’t understand the point in that. I feel so anxious right now. She wants me to get properly evaluated for anything that may be going on because on top of the severe OCD, I was also diagnosed with PMDD, GAD, and MDD by my primary care doctor but I guess she doesn’t trust those diagnoses? My psychiatrist also told me I have ADHD, which I’ve suspected my whole life but it sounds like my therapist doesn’t know how to handle OCD much less OCD, MDD, GAD, PMDD, and ADHD. She’s questioning the validity of my diagnoses instead of helping me figure out how to deal with all of it. This is so suffocatingly difficult. I’m also a huge people pleaser so how on earth do I end this thing?

Username: sccbsdrmzsccbsdrmz

Date posted: 9d ago

if you can email or text her, that usually makes confrontation easier for me. but just express how you appreciate her efforts in trying to help you but unfortunately you feel you need specialized care so you're going to to look for someone else. cause if someone is doing more harm then good it doesn't benefit you especially if you're ever in a vulnerable state. i hope you resolve this 💗

Username: isshpra 🫶🏻isshpra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 9d ago

@sccbsdrmz Thank you ❤️

Username: Dunkin2019!Dunkin2019!

Date posted: 9d ago

It’s very hard to handle ocd especially when it’s with other existing mental health issues (usual for ocd). It’s always best to get the therapy for the one you feel is most important! If your ocd is bothering you the most I definitely recommend leaving her and finding a new therapist. Just tell your self to remember that you’re your own advocate and breaking up with a therapist isn’t mean it’s for your own health and safety to meet your needs for right now! You aren’t the first and won’t be the last , and I’m sure she has had other people leave her. I’m sure she understands it’s part of the job. I hope you chose your feelings and needs over the possibility of hers! 💜

Username: isshpra 🫶🏻isshpra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 9d ago

@Dunkin2019! Thank you very much, my OCD is definitely the most bothersome but the GAD is intertwined. I’m trying to deal with the ADHD directly with my psychiatrist. PMDD with my gyno/endo. I just got off a call with NOCD! and I texted my now previous therapist explaining and thanking her for the help. Thank you for your support:))

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 9d ago

When it comes to your mental health you are number one. I’ve met therapists that have said they deal with OCD but realistically do not. Talk therapy has its place but when it comes to OCD the therapist has to be specially trained. And if this therapist is good, she should have no qualms whatsoever in your choosing to seek therapy elsewhere. Perhaps you can discuss an end date and like the song goes, ‘you gotta ease on down the road.’ Hope this helps you! Stay strong, you got this!!!

Username: isshpra 🫶🏻isshpra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 9d ago

@Dee C Thank you!!! I just spoke with her and I’ve got a therapy session scheduled through NOCD soon :)

Username: bdk

Date posted: 3y ago

Anyone wanna help me with a little fact-checking? I had a horrible appointment with my family doctor today. She basically told me that my anxiety around my relationship and sex was not OCD, but a cry for help because I’m not in the right relationship. She said these things to me AFTER telling me she doesn’t know much about OCD and AFTER I told her I loved my fiancé and did not want to leave him. She pressured me to leave him to “find myself.” Honestly, she sounded like OCD personified. She also said that OCD is not an external force working against me, but a manifestation of thoughts and feelings I already have. Basically she said OCD is a way for me to express what I’m scared of feeling and that it’s a way to help me realize what I really feel. She said OCD doesn’t work against me from an external perspective, that it doesn’t “happen” to me and affect the way I feel and respond, but that it just brings those things to light. She said all that to say that my anxiety about my relationship with my fiancé and anxiety around my sexual orientation isn’t OCD, just anxiety because I’m in the wrong relationship and need to leave him. Any thoughts? The conversation truly sent me spiraling, and I will not be going back to her.

Username: Gimli_23

Date posted: 2y ago

Therapists

I'm currently visiting my third therapist in the last three years and none of them have helped me so far. None of them have given me any type of diagnosis so I'm not even sure if I actually have OCD, and it's driving me mad. The last session I had, I even felt like it made things worse rather that it helped. I wanna feel that trust to my therapist that you should feel to be able to share your emotions but I don't. I feel like its not going anywhere, like it's useless. Lately I've been thinking about finding a therapist here at NOCD, I've even looked up some specific people and they all seem really nice and sweet.

Username: K-M

Date posted: 1y ago

Confused

So I saw my NOCD therapist for 9 months and we made SO much progress. Just loved her to pieces. She really helped me out and taught me so much, I miss her terribly. I started with my new therapist and we’ve met twice. My OCD is focused on my insecurity of being married and not wanting to have kids. I told my new therapist today that if I got divorced, I don’t think my OCD would be so latched onto it (since I wouldn’t be married or engaging in sex etc.) Anyway, after I said that she said she wasn’t sure it was OCD because OCD isn’t usually dependent on a circumstance. Does anyone get where I’m coming from? Just kinda confused now.

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How to break up with a therapist?

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