Intrusive thoughts

This may upset some people reading so here is just a warning that these are disturbing I don’t know what to do to make the bad thoughts stop. My mom recently had a baby, my little brother. I wasn’t exactly happy about this pregnancy, but I have nothing against my brother. He’s adorable and silly. Nothing against him. But I feel like these thoughts bug me because what if deep down I do resent him because I didn’t want my mom to have another kid? What if I did act on these things because I hate him? What if I just lose it and do something? It’s all so illogical, I know. Never would I ever want to do that. But there’s times I’m watching him for a few minutes for my mom and my brain just shows me an awful scene of me brutally hurting him or killing him. Or I’ll be holding him and my brain shows me a scene where I purposefully drop him or I just hurt him so badly. I’ll be walking near him and my brain tells me I’m going to stomp on him. It shows me such bad things. I have intrusive thoughts all the time, but this is different because there’s a semi good reason I “could” do it. That being, I wasn’t happy about the pregnancy. And it scares me. I’ve started crying because I was so scared it was going to happen. I have to back up away from him or sit down so there’s no way I can do anything. I feel horrible. I don’t want to hurt him. And I’m so scared I will. But I won’t. I’m hoping this makes sense to others who struggle with this. Because to anyone else who’s never gone through these things I’ll sound insane. And sound like a psychopath. Thanks for reading. Any help would be appreciated.

Username: moonsswishmoonsswish

Date posted: 28d ago

I know it doesn’t fully equate, but I get very similar thoughts about my family’s dog. I’ve just done my best to avoid her and tell myself those thoughts aren’t real. I don’t know if I have any good advice but avoidance helped a bit for me. Limiting interactions led to limiting thoughts. It’s probably not healthy, but ehhhh…

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 28d ago

Hello, Thank you for sharing your struggles. I have gone through similar and it helps to know others have the same issues. I’m sorry to hear that you are going through something like this. I had similar thoughts to the point they were too strong and I had to walk away from situations. It’s important to address the thoughts but to also realize that’s it’s OCD. We can’t let OCD have control. Sometimes leaning into uncertainty by looking at the thoughts but not letting them consume you. These thoughts are not you they are OCD. It’s normal to have them as many do. They are not great but they’ll eventually lessen over time. It’s important to address that there their but to not read into them. You know these thoughts are not you. OCD attaches to things that are important to you. OCD wants you to have a hard time. We can’t give into it. I hope this can help

Username: Zoë_84Zoë_84

Date posted: 28d ago

I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I can't tell you, that you won't hier your brother, as that would be reassurance and we are not supposed to give that to each other. But I'll share some of my Harm OCD thoughts, so you don't feel alone. One day, my father was maintaining the radiator in my bed room and I was helping him. While I helf a huge mockey wrench, I got the intrusion to hit my father over the head with the monkey wrench. Often, when I hold a knife, or a pair pf scissors I get the intrusion to stab my partner. Those thoughts don't scare me that much, they are not my main OCD themes. Also, it's important to know, that OCD is egodystonic. Here is an article about Harm OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-harm-ocd-guide-to-ocd-subtype

Username: jelpk

Date posted: 5y ago

LONG POST: Can someone help me by answering this? I’ve had intrusive thoughts before but I used to just push them away. In September, I had intrusive thought about life after death and it sent me into a spiral of fear and anxiety. I had trouble falling asleep and focusing during the day. I went to see a therapist a month later. It was a walk-in session and they told me to do CBT. Accept uncertainty and move on. This gave me even more anxiety. Eventually, with meditation, i was able to keep the thoughts at bay. Then in December, I began to have intrusive thoughts about my sister. They were sexually disturbing and I even wished that I could have intrusive thoughts about death again. I then it switched to sexual thoughts about my brother and he’s only a kid so I feel even more disgusted by myself. It’s been like this for three months now. I’ve tried meditating but it’s not doing much. I’m ashamed to tell my parents and I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I’ll act on the thoughts all the time. Then I wonder if I actually want to have them. It’s so draining. I hate waking up each day to these thoughts. I wonder if I actually want to have them since I have had them for so long. I’m so frustrated with myself.

"Pure" OCD

Username: L💖

Date posted: 3y ago

How do you deal with the intrusive thoughts around babies about you doing something bad to them? I'm constantly getting these thoughts while babysitting my cousin even though I wouldn't do bad things these thoughts bother me so much

Username: accordinglytome

Date posted: 47w ago

How do you know you won’t act on your thoughts?

Okay so, I feel like I’m going to become a monster, I feel like I want to do my intrusive thoughts. But in my heart I know it’s wrong. I cry and cry because I’m scared I will listen to my thoughts. I have been praying every single day. I want to be a good person. I tell myself do good, and do not do evil. My intrusive thoughts are about hurting people, especially my siblings. It’s makes me cry. But I’m scared I will act on them. I want to be locked up so I don’t do anything. I’m 21 years old now, I still live with my parents. And I want to tell them so they know, and so I can get help, I just don’t know how to tell them, and I don’t want to scare them. I don’t want them to think I’m a monster. I don’t think I can do this anymore. Every time I see something horrible, my brain thinks I should do it. Please give me advise, what do I do

Harm OCD

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Intrusive thoughts

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