Pet Death/Injury intrusive thoughts

I have harm OCD towards my cat and now she’s lying in bed next to me while I draw and my OCD is wild, screaming at me to remove myself from the situation as I might snap and kill her… this is the absolute worst feeling in the world.

Let me preface this by saying all three of my cats are alive, well, and healthy. Does anyone else get really distressed by their pets’ mortality? Like I cannot escape thoughts about their health, wondering if they’re happy, if I’m a good caregiver, worrying about when they’ll pass and how hard that will be and that I’ll inevitably feel like I’ve failed them. I feel intensely guilty often for things like leaving for work or not allowing them in the bedroom when I sleep (bc they keep me up) even though logically I know I shouldn’t feel bad. And I have a lot of guilt about not being able to take a past cat while leaving an abusive situation three years ago (she is definitely okay, she’s well cared for, I checked with an old mutual friend). I just love them so much, I want them to be okay.

Hi everyone (major TW) I just started therapy here at NOCD yesterday and I am still kind of…badly spiraling and I’m hoping that maybe some of you can make me feel better. I started having harm intrusive thoughts about my dog 8 years ago, and they went away mostly as she got older…until I got badly triggered by a tv show a few weeks ago and here we are. Since then, I’ve had horrible thoughts/visions of knives cutting into her (always her head and neck and always super graphic), words popping into my head (usually on the ends of sentences) about slashing, cutting and worse, and this constant physical feeling of being afraid that I’m going to harm her. Not that I want to, but I’m afraid it will happen, because I constantly feel it even though I don’t want to. I’m constantly aware of the feeling and thoughts being there 24/7 and am battling them all the time - checking the thoughts to see if they bother me enough, scared when or if I just feel numb, and am basically living on the edge of feeling like I’m going to do something horrible to her I don’t want to do. If I think about the words I get shivers down my spine and feel an intense feeling like adrenaline/fear and just want to get away from her asap. I’ve gotten the thoughts about my parents too, and feel the same way, but it’s a little easier to separate myself from them as my dog doesn’t understand. Has anyone else had this? I know I shouldn’t be looking for reassurance but I really need to know if this is actually OCD, or I should lock myself away and give this poor dog to someone else. She was my entire world until 3 weeks ago and now I’m just terrified 24/7 that I’m going to hurt her because it’s all I can think about. Please help me.