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Username: mrselfdestruct1994

Date posted: 1y ago

Can health ocd mimick symptoms?

Hello, I have hypochondria, gad, ptsd, and panic disorder. For the past 5 months I have been in a deep episode of what I’m hoping is just hypochondria where I’ve fully convinced myself I’m psychotic/developing schizophrenia. This theme has become so debilitating I lost my job and was completely bed bound for a while. Anyway, I have the extreme fear of developing delusions and hallucinations, so I’m constantly on the look out for symptoms like that. For whatever reason I have become extremely sensitive and afraid of anything demonic or horror related, I literally used to be a horror junkie, listen to Marilyn Manson etc. I am literally an atheist, I don’t even believe in the devil or superstitious things like this, but for some reason I have started getting extremely fear inducing demonic type intrusive thoughts, like one night I had the terrifying thought “what if my wife is possessed by a demon and isn’t really my wife” this thought scared the fuck out of me and actually changed my behavior towards my wife and gave me a panic attack, the fear of that later passed, but the uneasy feeling still linger. I’ve been getting all sorts of terrible demonic type intrusive thoughts like that about everybody and random places and even objects and they cause a panic attack everytime I get them, it used to be a panic attack about struggling to fight the urge to believe these thoughts but now I feel like it’s gotten to the point where it just straight up feels like it’s happening and I’m afraid for real and not even questioning the thoughts anymore. I’ve completely stopped listening to any music that references the devil or any type of media that may have dark references, to avoid getting these types of thoughts. When I am not anxious and I take my anxiety medicine (clonazepam) I can laugh these thoughts off and confidently shrug them off as ridiculous, but other times it feels real!Why is this happening to me? Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and do not believe in superstitious things like this, why am I suddenly afraid of things like this? And better yet why do they scare me and “feel real” if I don’t believe them. I feel like I’m fighting for my sanity every single day. I literally dread the anticipation of getting these thoughts. These strange new fears about demonic shit is only solidifying my root fear that I am developing psychosis. Can anyone please help me?

Username: MiriMMiriM

Date posted: 1y ago

1. Yes, in some ways OCD can mimic symptoms. The symptoms don’t actually appear, but the ruminating of wether or not you’re experiencing them can make yourself think you’re experiencing them. 2. What hells me is remembering that if you’re worrying about developing schizophrenia or experiencing a psychotic break, then you’re not. People with psychosis don’t realize they’re experiencing it. 3. The most annoying thing about OCD is that obsessions can layer and link themselves together. You’re experiencing a psychosis obsession as well as a religious obsession. It’s likely that you’ve heard of religion-linked delusion in psychotic disorders and from your fear of psychosis, you developed a fear of religious entities that make you think you’re developing a psychosis. Just remember that the religious fear comes from your psychosis fear, and your psychosis fear comes from hypochondria and OCD.

Username: mrselfdestruct1994mrselfdestru...

Date posted: 1y ago

@MiriM Thank you very much, that does make sense, I have read WAY TOO much material on Reddit about common religious delusions in people who have schizophrenia and I think I’m subconsciously manifesting those symptoms, at least I really hope that’s the case. I’ve done way too much research on schizophrenia/psychosis for my own good in general.

Username: MiriMMiriM

Date posted: 1y ago

@mrselfdestruct1994 I’m in the same boat! I researched Schizophrenia a TON and got scared, and my fear manifested in the worry that I was developing a Truman delusion. I’m glad to have helped you! Just remember when you find yourself worrying too much, try and pull back from the situation and realize that it’s just your OCD messing with your mind.

Username: Anonymous6482Anonymous6482

Date posted: 1y ago

@mrselfdestruct1994 REDDIT is the worst. Best thing to do is delete it. I promise.

Username: Anonymous6482Anonymous6482

Date posted: 1y ago

I have the same issue. I sometimes have thoughts about getting possessed or just unrealistic things along those lines that are scary. And the thing I figured out is im scared of believing those thoughts are true more then actually being scared of the thought? Like i know im not possesed or going to be possesed. Im more scared that I had the thought in the first place and oh gosh what if I actually believe it. If that Makes sense. I get and relate to this so much and I have such a fear of developing schizophrenia or having a mental break and really the only thing that helps me is distracting myself and just accepting it. It’s kind of the only thing you can do. It also helps knowing that schizophrenia is treatable so accepting that hey if you do have it it doesent mean the end of the world. It has a very heavy stigmatism around it that your “crazy” if your schizophrenic and In a lot of the cases it’s manageable.

Username: mrselfdestruct1994mrselfdestru...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous6482 It feels like I’m fighting to keep my sanity everyday. Feels like I am at war with my own mind. There is one part of me that is still firmly planted in reality and knows stuff like this isn’t real and then there’s the ocd/whatever this is, side of me that comes in with the “but what if…” questions and shit, “but what if stuff like this actually is real” “you have no evidence to disprove the existence of demons…” it’s scaring me so much that I’m even questioning if shit like that is real! The old me would laugh at people who believe in this hocus pocus type stuff and still would! but when I’m in the heat of the anxiety and full blown panic these thoughts feel real and that scares me so much. It’s bothering me that I’m letting these thoughts get to me, I have never ever been like this before, me being afraid of these thoughts is only solidifying my root fear that I’m falling into psychosis/losing my mind. It’s just so hard for me to understand, it’s so distressing. I don’t understand why I fear the thoughts if i know deep down somewhere that that they aren’t real. Why do the thoughts “feel real”. It’s so scary. I’m so afraid of losing what little insight I feel like I have. I’m so afraid of falling into complete delusion and not even questioning these intrusive thoughts

Username: Anonymous6482Anonymous6482

Date posted: 1y ago

@mrselfdestruct1994 All of the things you are feeling are just ocd. Your mind can make you believe crazy things. That you never would’ve believed before. The only thing that truly helps me. And the one thing your supposed to do is just acceptance as hard as that may be. Think about how you didint think like this before. You can get back to feeling that way. You just have to stop letting your ocd spiral out of control. If that makes any sense. It takes time. And I still struggle with it myself I’m by no means where I need to be but the things that have gotten me better. Specially with what your dealing with is acceptance. As much as I want to sit here and reassure you that your not crazy or going to go crazy. You don’t need that reassurance. Don’t try and put meaning with everything either. Just chalk everything your feeling up to ocd. Instead of questioning it. I hope this helps a little and know your not alone. I know your theme seems very specific but everyone’s Themes are based off what they are most scared of . And hey I have pretty much the same Exact theme as you and I remember feeling the same way. I hope knowing this maybe gives you some peace of mind. Maybe just a boost to calm down enough to let it just be as it is. That’s truly the only way to help ocd. Is to stop the cycle and accept that it’s not you. It’s not true and hey even if it is so what. Once you do that you’ll start to regain that sense of self. I promise it gets better it’s not easy but you’ve got this.

Username: mrselfdestruct1994mrselfdestru...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous6482 Thank you, seriously. I’m going to continue to fight through this with my therapist and try and passively accept these thoughts and let them come and go. I’ve heard this is the only way to get rid of it before. I really do try but then there’s that ocd thought again “but what if your ignoring serious warning signs of psychosis and just treating it like ocd” “what if you treat this like ocd and this gets worse… blah blah blah” I swear my mind finds a way to question everything. I’m gonna try and get better man.. there’s a small part of me that knows this is just ocd fucking with me

Username: Anonymous6482Anonymous6482

Date posted: 1y ago

@mrselfdestruct1994 Of course. And I get it trust me I fight with myself with the same theme. I just stared off and my eyes made my surroundings move. Which Ik is likely just an optical illusion type thing. And nothing to be concerned about yet it still scared me. But I try my best to just brush the thought off.

Username: OverthinkerocdOverthinkerocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Have you looked into therapy brother?

Username: mrselfdestruct1994mrselfdestru...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Overthinkerocd I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, been to multiple therapists who have given me psychological evaluations and assured me I am not suffering from schizophrenia or psychosis, yet I still have the fears

Username: mrselfdestruct1994mrselfdestru...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Overthinkerocd Just looking to see if anyone else with hypochondria and ocd can relate to any part of my experience so I don’t feel so alone

Username: OverthinkerocdOverthinkerocd

Date posted: 1y ago

@mrselfdestruct1994 Yeah i see how this can be terrifying. What i do know is that ocd can latch onto anything and make you think your going crazy

Username: KatinaBootheKatinaBoothe

Date posted: 1y ago

Hello, I'm not a medical expert or from this website. I'm probably not even what you're asking for, but I just felt compelled to reply to you. I'm not an atheist, I truly believe in God and satan, heaven and hell. But I think you should talk to your doctor or whoever gives you the medication you take or a psychiatrist about what's going on and see if you can get tested and maybe another medication to add to what you already take. I believe you may be seeing hallucinations or may have a demon trying to influence your weaknesses. Demons can't have power over you unless you let them. I know you don't believe in them but giving them any attention at all gives them power. I'd love to be able to help you because I know how debilitating a panic attack can be. I have them and have for many years but I'm able to control them to a point now and don't have then no where near like I used to. I don't believe you're developing psychosis because you seem pretty sound and put together. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can private message me on Facebook at Katina Quales Boothe and put from the OCD POST. I may not be able to help but it couldn't hurt to have someone to listen to you and someone who understands and cares. Sincerely, Katina

Username: Anonymous6482Anonymous6482

Date posted: 1y ago

@KatinaBoothe I see you trying to help. But this is not helpful for someone with ocd. Please don’t use religion to try and help someone who doesent believe in it. It can be more hurtful then helpful. Telling them they me be seeing a hallucination or have a actual demon is not helpful. And it’s also clearly not true. This just feeds into the ocd. I’m not trying to come off rude in anyway. I just want you to know this can be very harmful!

Username: mrselfdestruct1994mrselfdestru...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous6482 Thank you for helping me out there man.. I didn’t know how to reply to that. I understand she probably had good intentions and is misguided but her comment definitely made me feel worse

Username: AnomynousAnomynous

Date posted: 11w ago

Hi I don't know if you still suffer from this theme I hope not, I relate much to your post because I felt exactly the same and had those exact same thoughts, I made peace with this and it is now over. But you are not alone. This may be considered as scrupulosity OCD/ Spiritual OCD maybe. I used to watch a lot of horror movies and even sleep watching because I wasn't even scared just bored, but then those thoughts started popping and oh boy let me tell you. It was fucking hell it felt like I was seeing stuff from the corner of my eyes, I couldn't sleep at night, or when I slept I was constantly woke up feeling extreme dread like I was being possessed or hurt. It felt real, very real. I used to read a lot of religious/occult stuff let me tell you that It made the thoughts more precise like it knew where to hurt me. This has been over for a long time know, I cut out everything related to that subject and focus on living a life aligned with my values and with who i am. Working out and meditation helped a lot. Ruminating seeking reassurance and magical thinking, don't help.

Username: Dil P

Date posted: 6y ago

still the obsession with the idea of devils, demons and being possessed is in my mind although now it varies in intensity. i’m so alert to every sensation in my body - pins and needles, moving in my scalp, tingling hairs/muscles. These flare up most at night time. These sensations still make me feel uneasy - even if im told its anxiety, i still regard being possessed (or turning psychotic) as a possibility cos of those sensations. I immediately link these sensations to horror movies or stuff i’ve been told about spirits. i wish i didnt have this disturbing thought ? it feels like an obsession that no one else with OCD has, but if im wrong i hope someone can reach out and relate ??

Username: Cozy_dragon

Date posted: 2y ago

Ocd about being alive

At this point I’m pretty sure I’m psychotic. I have intrusive thoughts all day long of me doing a bunch of things that I never and will never do. Images of me poking out my own eyes in all sorts of other horrific things that will have to do with self mutilation. These images have been haunting me for two years with the persisting fear that I will act out on these things one day despite me never wanting to do so. Now on top of these thoughts I am dealing with something else. I keep thinking about the fact that there’s no escape from life other than death and it makes me feel scared and trapped. I can’t stop thinking about this that there’s no escape. It’s scaring me. I want to live I have no desire to die but once I get the intrusive thought about not being able to escape this life is scaring me. I believe I’m going through depersonalization because nothing feels right my surroundings feel unfamiliar I feel unfamiliar. I feel like an alien in a place that seems unknown to me. This all started after I had a panic attack in the shower three weeks ago over my intrusive harm thoughts and in the moment I actually thought that my life was over and that I was about to act out on it but of course I didn’t because it’s just a thought and an obsessive fear. Something I would never do but it felt so real in that momentI almost passed out from the fear. The day after that I felt like nothing was real and I’m still in depersonalization and having panic attacks on the regular but today I got that thought about not being able to escape life and how we’re basically all trapped here. I can’t stop thinking it and it’s making me feel sick. Maybe if I Felt more connected to myself and my surroundings stuff like this wouldn’t bother me but that panic attack destroyed me. Does this sound like OCD or something else?I was completely normal and fine three weeks ago yes I had my intrusive thoughts but they weren’t scaring me or controlling me like they are now.

Harm OCD

Username: Kilo2001

Date posted: 1y ago

Ghosts

Has anyone here ever had obsessive thoughts about ghosts? Like what if there’s a ghost in the house? What if it’s a demon? And I get so scared. That stuff freaks me out so much. I had a nightmare last night about a Demon/ghost and it scared me so much. I usually have intrusive thoughts about harm and they center my daughter. And I woke up looked at my daughter and what if she’s a demon popped into my head. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach even typing it. I know she’s not but now I’m like am I going crazy? Like am Turning psychotic? I’ve never heard of anyone obsessing over this but me. And it’s taking a lot to post this cause I have a fear I’m the only one and I am going crazy but I know at the same time OCD can latch onto anything. I was doing so good with the harm intrusive thought. I can totally ignore them now. And I’m confident I’d never hurt my baby. So now I’m like is my OCD jumping to something else? But why this? It sounds so crazy!

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