I don’t understand (pls help)

i don’t understand what’s going on. All of the sudden i started having intrusive thoughts and I thought the “devil” had me and i was about to check myself into a mental hospital but then one of my friends who also has ocd told me that she has these too and i felt less alone. Then for like a day or two I was fine and then I went to therapy and was triggered (? idek) and the intrusive thoughts came back and now i’m even worse than I was before and I don’t even know what’s going on. I can’t figure it out and I can’t stop reading and posting on this dang app BECAUSE IM CONFUSED AND SCARED IM JUST SCARED and idk if this is reassurance seeking or what but I have my first therapy appointment with someone on here on wednesday but i’m scared that I won’t make it… Idk what’s going on and idek if I DO have ocd bc i haven’t been diagnosed

Username: rprimo01rprimo01

Date posted: 1y ago

I have been having similar experience to what you have. It made no sense to me either. Like i had never had any intrusive thoughts or such and it just totally came out of nowhere.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

All I will say is that ERP is really hard and it might even be scary at points, but it’s been totally worth it for me. Because learning about my OCD and understanding how and where it likes to hide, gives me the ability to stand up to it. OCD can be a real bully at times. And it’s hidden itself in new and many facets throughout my lifetime. I’ve done my best for the last 29 years to “ignore” or “allow only the small obsessions” to happen… so that when the big ones would come, or the dark thoughts would happen, I’d give myself a sense of control… but I didn’t have the right tools to help me theology some of the worst of it. I finally found NOCD and it’s been truly helpful. Because of ERP I am learning new and helpful ways to deal with dark thoughts, how to move through the anxiety of compulsions and obsessions. I really hope you give it a try and I hope you find the right therapist for you to help you through understanding. It is uncomfortable in the sessions. But the idea of ERP, from my understanding, isn’t to help you just feel better by talking about it. But to help you learn how to chase OCD away by being able to let the anxiety pass, using techniques of small exposures and gradually making them greater. Giving you tools to use throughout your life to manage your OCD. I know you’re capable. I hope you do too. And I hope that one day for all of us here, we can manage our OCD so well, it barely effects us in our daily lives anymore. 🫶

Username: doeji123doeji123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous thank you so much :,) I have a bit of a clearer head today because of the meds i took i think but rooting for all of us and hoping this new ocd therapy will workout for me!

Username: caterpillarjourney caterpillarj...

Date posted: 1y ago

Hey, I get you! I also was “triggered” before my first therapy session. You should try rescheduling your appointment if time is an issue, if its a mental worry, i would try to set time before the appointment and try to prepare yourself in whatever way you find best, maybe feeling your emotions out, getting in a calm relaxish headspace, trying is all that matters! Speaking of trying, maybe you have OCD maybe you don’t?! but you’re trying to figure it out and thats powerful! You’re not alone!

Username: doeji123doeji123

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@caterpillarjourney the thing is i think i was triggered because of the therapy i’m in right now but i’m not sure… I just don’t think she knows much about ocd so i tried to join this to see if I really have ocd and see if i can get the help i need because it’s getting worse :( Thank you for your insight though!

Username: caterpillarjourney caterpillarj...

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous Do what you think is best for you! I personally have had a good experience with this program, and I hope you can find a solution that works for you<3

Username: 0823

Date posted: 6y ago

I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts lately and after a lot of research, I’ve learned to just let them happen. But now, I’m scared that since I’m not having anxiety or crying over it, it must mean that I like the thoughts or that I don’t find them bad. I know that this in itself is OCD. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but I have been speaking to a specialist over email to set up an appointment. I don’t feel like myself anymore, my brain is so full of questions and thoughts that I can’t even figure out what they are. It feels so foggy and I feel so lost. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I’m all alone in this and I’m just so confused.

Username: blaze19star

Date posted: 1y ago

heartbroken

I am so upset. I really always knew somewhere deep down i wasn’t a terrible human being but over the past 2 weeks something changed, i stopped having anxiety drastically and now have much more difficulty not believing thoughts. it feels like they are real. and i just don’t understand how i could be so repulsed by something the day before this happened and now feel nothing, i’m terrified. i’m 17. i feel like it’s all over. i’ve had periods where i lost clarity before but they came back but for the past weeks i’ve just been stuck and i can’t cope and i can’t explain it and i’m not sure what to do. i feel like these past 2 ish years of dealing with it are all a lies. but it just doesn’t make sense, i want to feel disgust not clarity? and now i feel no hope. i was supposed to get a diagnosis soon but it just feels like everything changed so quickly. how is this possible? im so upset and i can’t breathe or think and im terrified all at the same time as feeling nothing. it doesn’t feel like back door spike it just feels real. im a lost cause, i can’t do this anymore… i wanted to be good and now i feel like im what i feared. please help? i don’t know if this is ocd?

Username: Allier792

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m scared

Hi. I’m just really scared and I want to ask questions. I have been ocd and have been really suffering since December. The intrusive thoughts come like I want them now and it’s more of a “ well oh yeah you want to do that, and it’s gonna happen” and I start panicking and can’t focus and it scares the shit out of me. Is that ocd? Or is there something wrong with my brain and I’m actually some psychopath you see in a movie? I’m terrified. Im scared to be around my family, I’m scared to be around everyone. But I’m scared to be alone as well because I’m alone with the thoughts. What if these aren’t intrusive thoughts and I’m actually some terrible person who’s gonna hurt someone or is actually some psychopath who’s crazy? I hate this so much because I use to be so happy and not have any of these intrusive thoughts or worried that I was going to to hurt someone and now I’m so scared all the time. Can someone please answer some of these questions? I just want to make sure that this is ocd and I’m not a terrible person.

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I don’t understand (pls help)

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