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Username: RiRiRavioli8

Date posted: 1y ago

Existential OCD, Derealization, New mom

Hi y’all! I’ve had OCD since 7 or 8 years old, but wasn’t fully diagnosed until I was in my twenties after having a major panic attack. This triggered my derealization and had intrusive thoughts that nothing was real, that everything was a projection of my imagination. My OCD was pretty quiet until now, 15 mos after having my precious babygirl (i figured it latches on to the things/people we cherish the most). My OCD is making me think that she isn’t real and it is making it hard for me to enjoy moments with my baby. It’s been a struggle and I’m hoping to find some light. 🥺

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 1y ago

Sorry you’re going through this. I can relate to the existential thoughts. From time to time I catch myself going down the OCD rabbit hole at which point I lean towards the uncertainty. Maybe the kids are a figment of my imagination or maybe they’re not. This is my OCD and I choose not to engage it. And the times when I get hugs from them, I’ll live in the present and cherish the moment with them - In defiance of the OCD thoughts. Please know that you’re not alone!!!

Username: RiRiRavioli8RiRiRavioli8

Date posted: 1y ago

@Dee C Thank you so much for the kind words. I’ve tried making a joke out of my current thoughts, like “if my daughter isn’t real, then why can’t her poopy diaper change itself”…it helps for the time being until my obsession ceases.

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel for you so much. I think that anytime a big life event happens (birth of a child, etc) it can definitely trigger OCD. OCD also is known to attack what we value. Check out these resources:https://youtu.be/rmH50bTp1zs,https://youtu.be/WH86RW-KGaY

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 1y ago

@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. OMG that’s so on point!!! Thank you 🙏🏽

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

@Dee C - Thanks!!

Username: hellopeoplehellopeople

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m so sorry 😞 that sounds so difficult. Isn’t it horrible that OCD latches into people we love? I’ve actually had the same thoughts targeted at my parents, I would be talking to them but then get intrusive thoughts saying they weren’t real, it’s very terrifying, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It still happens sometimes but I learned that I can feel discomfort and keep living, saying to myself “yeah maybe they aren’t real right now, that’s okay” and my mind and body can feel off but I just ignore it and try to keep doing what I was doing. Being ok with the discomfort I learned through ERP! I hope you get some relief from this theme and enjoy your time with your precious baby ☺️

Username: RiRiRavioli8RiRiRavioli8

Date posted: 1y ago

@hellopeople It’s definitely tough, thank you for the encouragement. I know that time and *trying* to live in the moment are key!

Username: LavenderLavender

Date posted: 1y ago

I have absolutely had this happen to me and its so terrifying. The thing about those thoughts is we literally cant know the answer… and at the end of the day even if it is all a projection, the love you feel for your kids is still important. 💖

Username: RiRiRavioli8RiRiRavioli8

Date posted: 1y ago

@Lavender Totally agree❤️ I’m just trying to enjoy each moment with her and invite my thoughts to sit, which dampens the fear that fuels it. One day I’ll be able to laugh at even having that thought.

Username: LavenderLavender

Date posted: 1y ago

@RiRiRavioli8 Omg I hope that for you and me 😅

Username: RiRiRavioli8RiRiRavioli8

Date posted: 1y ago

I’d also like to mention that I’m a working mom and took on a new promotion at work that has created more stress for me. I’m sure that has something to do with it. This recent flare up is just so hard to deal with!

Username: AnmacannAnmacann

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I understand the thoughts and feelings that things are not real. I have had to let it pass and get into my body in the past. My senses.

Username: RiRiRavioli8RiRiRavioli8

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anmacann Thank you for the encouragement. I just hate how OCD literally targets my loved ones. 🥺

Username: AnmacannAnmacann

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@RiRiRavioli8 It targets everything I care about or fear losing the most

Username: RC

Date posted: 4y ago

Anyone else a new mom here going through postpartum OCD?

Username: Caree

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m a new mom with out of control OCD

I’m a mom of a 6 month old and my OCD has gotten so bad that my brain constantly convinces me that I’m doing something bad to her or feeling a gross way about her to the point where I don’t even want to be near her. This is breaking my heart because I love my daughter so much and had such a strong bond with her and this is killing me and making me sad/feel disgusting at the same time.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 48w ago

OCD as a new parent

Hi! I am expecting and while I'm super excited, I'm also worried about having OCD and experiencing the post partum period that everyone makes sound like the lowest point of one's life. I'd love to hear from other mom's with OCD. Could really use some positive stories or tips! I'm pretty scared.

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Existential OCD, Derealization, New mom

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