POCD and guilt

I’ve had many ocd themes before, but none of them have given me as much guilt, anxiety, and shame as POCD has. All these groinal responses, thoughts, feelings, etc. makes me sick of myself and wish I wasn’t me. I feel like all of this is gonna stick with me for the rest of my life and I’m gonna remember all of these things for the rest of my life. I feel like I need to tell my future partner all about this and all about the groinal responses that I have had. I just want all of this to be over and I wish that this POCD never happened. I constantly wish that I could go back to my past OCD themes, they tortured me but compared to POCD I want them back. I wish everyday too that a new theme will come along and all these things will just go away. I feel like my ocd is different than everyone else’s, I feel so alone and I’ve been suicidal over these things and I just want them to all end

Username: zragonzragon

Date posted: 1y ago

I feel like it's easy for OCD to fixate on things that bother us the most. I would recommend therapy, of course, but also accepting that it's all intrusive. You've presumably never actually acted on your urges, and you understand that you shouldn't. Stop viewing yourself as a monster for your intrusive thoughts, and the moment you make peace with it may be the exact moment that your OCD moves on to something different and finally frees you from this one.

Username: GivenupGivenup

Date posted: 1y ago

I have real events OCD that’s based on HOCD and POCD… based on past porn usage for my HOCD and POCD when I was 17-18, and extremely horrible real events when I was 13…

Username: Anon.Anon.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I can literally say I felt incredibly similar to your post. That theme switch also made me suicidal, and all I wanted was to go back to my old themes. I truly thought my life was over, was afraid to tell anyone and had no hope. HOWEVER, that pain was what drove me to find help and eventually this app, get a therapist on here, and start doing ERP. It literally changed my life. It took a ton of difficult work, vulnerability, honesty, working through my fear, and consistency, but it was all worth it. I no longer suffer the way I did from that theme, although things may come up from time to time, they are much more easily disregarded, and it doesn’t interfere with my life like it once did. I truly hope you get a therapist and try ERP for yourself if you can, and that you have a similar experience as me!

Username: worrier 24worrier 24

Date posted: 1y ago

This is the worst theme because you can’t help but try to prove to yourself your thoughts aren’t real and even then nothing stood the guilt shame and upset caused by these thoughts

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

These thoughts bother you because they go so far against your values and who you are as a person. The more you worry and obsess about them the stronger rhey will come in. If you liked having these thoughts you wouldn’t stress yourself out over them. You would welcome them. You need to just have the attitude of, maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I know exactly how it feels to be stuck in a loop like that, but once you stop fearing the thought it loses its power over you! I hope things get better for you very soon!

Username: Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

POCD

Serious trigger warning here for POCD and suicide. I have these thoughts, urges, and feelings that are terrifying. I don’t act on them and I believe I would never act on them but it feels so real and horrible. I don’t know how this started and I want to believe I am a good person but I’m just so scared that I’m going to do something terrible. And even just these thoughts scare me to my core and make me think, “oh what if I am a pedophile” even though I know I’m not, and I don’t know how to deal with them. When I can keep myself busy it gets easier to forget this stuff, but if I have downtime I can’t get it out of my head. I had a young girl, most likely middle school age, come into my work with her parents today and I was terrified of the idea that I could be attracted to her. I don’t believe I truly am but my thoughts get so aggressive that I don’t even know what to believe. I avoid a lot of things but sometimes you don’t have the option to avoid and it just gets things further stuck in my head and I end up fixating on awful things. I wake up with this stuff floating around my mind and I can’t get it to go away. I’ve even considered just ending it to all to make it easier on myself and to make sure that I never have the opportunity to act on these horrible thoughts and feelings. I don’t ever want to do these things and I know it may sound ridiculous, but the consequences of these actions I haven’t committed scare me as well such as people no longer trusting or loving me, prison, hurting someone else in any way, not being a good person, etc. I just can’t find anything that helps fix this. I have broken down many times due to this issue and I feel like it’ll never go away. I know killing my sled is not the answer and I know I will never act on any of this but the thoughts and feelings are so aggressive that I live in an almost constant state of fear of my own mind and body. I hate this. What did I do to deserve to suffer this way? Why me? Why can’t I just be a normal person with normal human thoughts and why of all forms of OCD did it’s have to be this one? I don’t know what to do. Someone please help me fix this before I lose hope.

POCD

Username: CJW-182

Date posted: 38w ago

POCD

I’ve been struggling with POCD since I was 18 years old, I am now 22. It’s terrifying how quickly it switched from my ocd focusing on a fear of pregnancy, to magical thinking ocd, and then to POCD. I’ve been suffering with it so much so that I’ve convinced myself and have lost friends due to confession compulsions. I have major issues with ruminating, and it frequently goes hand in hand with my relationship OCD and my Suicidal thoughts OCD. (Worrying my partner will leave me because what if I am, and that I can’t take this anymore so I have to __) I often experience things like shame, guilt, grief, and intense emotional pain that manifests itself into nausea and heartburn and sometimes headaches. I’ve tried everything, so this app really is my last resort. I wish to find community here, to know that what I’m facing I’m not alone in my battles with. I know that I’m not, so why does my brain work so hard telling me I am? I love children, I always have. But I get so afraid of being near them. I want to get better. I want to be able to spend time with my family again.

Username: Scorpio1

Date posted: 30w ago

POCD and guilt

Hi all, I was wondering how other people with POCD deal with the guilt and shame that come with the POCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

POCD and guilt

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community