Compulsions

I don’t know how great it is if your trying to long term help but sometimes I get stuck on a thought or worry so I give in and search stuff up so that way I can sleep in as much peace as possible. It’s usually about life threatening diseases and illnesses which isn’t good to always worry about but I don’t know how to not worry.

I've had, or still have to an extent, the same problem. It seemed like I'm too fast for myself, even while talking to other people as soon as an intrusive thought pops up I would engage with it (and inevitably miss a part of the conversation). For me it seemed so automatic that the "neutralizing thought" became the intrusive one as they usually came in a package. What helped me? Well I started treating the whole "package" of thoughts as intrusive (if it becomes automatic as you say you could say it's intrusive, same thing as the original obsession) as in I would endure the thought and refocus on the conversation or the thing I was doing (the four R thing). You should watch out for one thing, are you trying to do it the "right way"? Or are you setting yourself the goal of having an almost perfect score of "I need to stop answering to any of my thoughts"? Intrusive thoughts are just thoughts, and any thought can become one so trying to always to de right thing is just impossible and counterproductive. If you didn't manage to do it "right" today (atleast to your expectations which might be high), no biggie, let's try to do it better next time. Also, one thing that always screwed me up. I'm prone to rumination and trying to think things through. When I got even a glimpse of thoughts which I knew was somehow connected to an obsession or part of this unwanted train of thoughts (be it the compulsion or obsession), I would push it down or try to force it away mentally. That would often happen in social situations due to the added pressure of having to stay present all the time (pressure which I put on myself and still sometimes do). In effect it was really hard for me to differentiate what was my obsession, intrusive thought or compulsion which didn't help when talking to therapist and them asking "so what are your intrusive thoughts?". So if your compulsions do include neutralizing or pushing down thoughts and then trying to figure out the "right" way to deal with them, you might be in a similar boat. So if the thoughts come in a package deal and you seem unable to uncouple them, treat them all as intrusive. That means enduring the thought/s (letting them be there but trying not to give them to much attention), accepting the negative feelings and refocusing on what you were doing. If you notice yourself engaging in them automatically, relax, you didn't fail anything. You can always try to refocus after catching yourself, there is no right way to do it. Treat it as a skill, due to the imperfect nature of thoughts and OCD, of course it's gonna take some time (and setback which are normal). Through time it will become much easier and you will start to do it automatically.

Yes! These mental compulsions are very common. My advice based on my own experience with them is to practice being mindful of your thoughts as a first step. That could be saying to yourself, “I’m having the thought that ___.” This helps us generate some awareness of the thought so that we don’t automatically go into checking or self-reassuring, etc. and give meaning to it. In other words it can help interrupt the OCD cycle that feeds us more and more doubt the more we engage. This article talks more about what mental compulsions are, how to identify them, and respond to them effectively: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/mental-compulsions-the-unseen-battle?utm_source=google_ads&utm_campaign=Search_Nonbrand_DSA_US&utm_content=All_Website_visitors&utm_term=&gclid=Cj0KCQiAg_KbBhDLARIsANx7wAwBycsGu5bbZTk_BLqaL7R5e789CjIWmGrY9tPFn7FbX_dqmVPeQK4aArenEALw_wcB