How can you tell if you're experiencing real event ocd or you are feeling justified guilt for doing something bad. What I did is something that everyone would consider very bad. Is it still OCD? This is making me miserable.
ocd can latch onto any type of event and the event itself isn't really relevant. so, it doesn't matter if it's something "everyone would consider bad." what matters is your reaction to the guilt. people without ocd will feel bad for a bit and have been taught a lesson from it like to not do that thing again. they're able to move on. if you feel completely consumed by the guilt, constantly think/ have intrusive thoughts about the event, are afraid you'll feel this exact same amount of intense guilt for the rest of your life and never be able to move past it, etc. those are good signs that it's probably ocd. trying to figure out if it's justified or not is another way ocd will keep you in the spiral.
The main event is something I had a breakdown over years ago due to feeling so guilty & it faded away for a bit eventually but now it's cropped up again in the last couple of years with other events. It's like a never-ending transcript of why I'm evil.
@Plop ocd ebbs and flows! i'm not saying this to give you reassurance, but that doesn't mean it isn't ocd. my real event/false memory ocd also includes multiple events.
@redlight Ok thank you. It's hell feeling like this isn't it?
@Plop definitely 😅 but we can get through it!
I understand how you feel :( I’m sorry you’re going through this
Thank you
Red light is right on in explanation. I have real event ocd from playing doctor when I was 12 or so with a younger child and I have the same exact feeling that everyone will consider it very bad and hate me for it. Like redlight said, it’s not the event it’s our reaction. It’s true some would consider what I did very bad but therapy has taught me that it is the ocd that has convinced me it’s everyone who will think it’s very bad. I am having a back door spike on this very issue - thinking I have to tell people so I make sure they will still like me- just ocd playing it’s game. Everyone has things they are not proud of, but it does not define their entire existence.
Can real event ocd, or ocd in general make you feel bad for something you did that was actually wrong? I keep thinking about things I’ve done in the past that are defiantly wrong and shitty things. But I’ve never really thought of them before. I knew they were terrible things, and I’ve not gone back since. Maybe 10+ years ago (when I was 19-21). I thought real event ocd was your brain taking things that are trivial and twisting them to make you seem bad. In these cases I’ve grown as a person l, I’m really not proud of myself and hope to never go back to that place. Is this ocd, or am I suddenly just feeling remorse for being a terrible person? I just feel the need to confess to my wife again, even though she knows most of it.
Am I supposed to feel guilt and shame over my past experiences to this extent? Someone else posted abt real event ocd and how they feel guilt and shame and someone responded “it’s okay to feel guilt and shame, and some mistakes are really bad” and now I’m thinking that my guilt and shame is how I should be feeling over the past. Like how do I know if my OCD has blown up real events or if these real events are something to dismiss.
I know this is such a typical OCD thought, but I really feel mine is. Without going into too much detail feel like I basically SA'd my ex without meaning to and got away with it. I feel like I need to confess to everyone, including ny current gf, but I'm worried people will never look at me the same again. I'm trying so hard with ERP but I feel like I'm just using it to avoid confronting what I've done. I feel like I'm going to get cancelled or thrown in jail and my life is going to fall apart. I feel so guilty and sorry. I want to be a good person.
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